I Have a Bad Feeling About This

I had the follow-up mammogram today, it was also 3D. I also had a sonogram they had scheduled me for, but didn't tell me about, that was a surprise!

I saw the monitor as they were doing the sonogram. There were some impressively large black spots showing up. I really hope that's a case of magnification. I'm pretty sure I know what those black things mean - a tumor. I just don't know whether it's benign or cancer.

Right after they finished the sonogram, they sent in a doctor and a nurse to discuss having a biopsy. My choises were tomorrow or next week. Of course, I immediately pulled out my calendar to figure out when I could fit it in between my meetings. As soon as I opened my mouth to begin appointment negotiations, I knew I was wrong. I corrected myself and told her I'd take the soonest available tomorrow.

I know something suspicious is there. I'm scared.

The IVF Verdict

I met with the fertility clinic's doctor today about IVF. While I was hoping we'd be able to use my own eggs, the numbers look pretty bad. I went in expecting this given my age (44) and history, but it still hurt. Managed not to cry until we were done talking. I started looking at an egg bank for potential donors. That made me cry.

Part of me feels like there's no use crying over spilt milk. The time was never right, the money was never right. Now that it is, it's too late for my own. It doesn't mean everything is over, but it's still a type of mourning.

The Mammogram Follow-up Call

 Kaiser called me today to schedule the follow up from my annual. I told them I already had it scheduled, and asked what the report meant by "right breast asymmetry". They said it's just a part they couldn't make out and doing a second mammogram is "routine" and it's "probably nothing"

Alarm bells?  Kinda? It always bothers me when medical people are vague like that, then tell me it's routine and probably nothing. I know the medical people don't want to cause alarm in patients, but I'd rather hear it from them than asking Doctor Google.

They're probably right, and I'm being a little alarmist.

The Mammogram Report

I got my mammogram report back today and read through it. It says everything on the left is OK, but there's a "right breast asymmetry". According to Doctor Google, this can mean any number of things. I'm wondering about that lymph node though. I didn't know they looked at those as a part of mammography. Learn something new every day!

There's a recommendation on the report to get another one done, so I went ahead and scheduled.

Time for that Mammogram

I had my annual mammogram today. I wanted to get it early this year and have it line up with my physical, but no-can-do. Had to wait the actual 12 months. Happily Kaiser has been installing 3D across the state.

When the girl took my pictures, she mentioned that one of my right-side lymph nodes was enlarged and asked if I'd recently had a vaccination. My last vaccination was the flu back in November. I've been feeling under the weather lately and I think I just got through a mild sinus infection (again).

OK, that was the understatement of the century. Not under the weather. Exhausted. I've been attributing it to stress since I work full time, and I'm a full time college student. I received a promotion back in November, so that added to the stress, but not significantly. It took away other stressors. I told her this. She asked me about my iron intake and suggested increasing it. We'll see. I've got a nice rib roast I can make this week.